Mt. Dew & Community

If you were to come to my office, you'd find all sorts of nick-nacks.  Some cool.  Some you'd think are dumb and childish (...and you might be on to something).  But every single one of them has a story (I'm not a hoarder!).

One such item is a very special Mt. Dew can (seen in this picture).  If you look closely you'll see that it doesn't actually say "Mt. Dew"...at least not in English.

I was on a trip to Russia back in 2007, and feeling pretty low - going through culture shock, missing my wife, missing "normal" food...and missing Mt. Dew.  I shared that sentiment with one of the Russian guys that I had become friends with - Artyom.  He could tell I wasn't doing well, and that afternoon he called a friend who was on his way out to the camp we were at to bring me the can of Mt. Dew.  Just a simple act.  A $.50 can of soda.

There's a principle that I've learned from a few different people (Andy Stanley, Reggie Joinner).  Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.  What Artyom did for me was something that he didn't - and couldn't - do for everyone of us Americans at the camp.  But he did for me.

Honestly, Artyom probably doesn't remember buying me this can of soda.  But I do.  I still have the can to show for it.  It's important to me.  (In fact I just about cried one time I thought a middle schooler had opened it in my office when I wasn't looking.)

Community is often simply the small, seamingly meaningless acts of generously giving to someone.  People we care about.  People who need a boost.  People who need an encouragement.  People who need a Mt. Dew.

Say the Same Things...

One of the things we say all the time to our small group leaders is that one of their roles is to be "Another Adult Who Says the Same Thing a Parent Says".  That very thing happened on a recent trip.

One of our 8th grade girls was broken up with by her boyfriend on the trip.  I knew nothing of this incident until after we got back and found this Facebook post (pictured) by the teen.  I showed her small group leader on Sunday, and the small group leader explained to me what had happened.

Huge win!

Best Times to Post on Social Media

Social media is such a powerful tool - especially in student ministry.  It allows us to rally students. Engage them after a message.  Play fun games.  Brag on students who do something awesome.  Post pictures that happen at events.  But what are the best times to reach people on these networks?  Check out this infographic:

4 Keys to Starting Fresh in Student Ministry

Eight fall seasons ago I had the opportunity to start fresh with a student ministry that was, for the most part, non-existent.  Since then, along with an incredible team of volunteers, I'm very excited about the student ministry that we've built, and are continuing to refine.

A fellow youth worker from a few towns over called me the other day with a similar opportunity - to start fresh and small.  Here is some of the advice that I had for him.  I hope you find it helpful if you're starting fresh.

1. Small Groups are Key:  You've heard it before, but don't do ministry alone.  Even with only 15 students and your spouse.  Bring along other adults to care for students.  You will ultimately only grow at the pace that you have adults to adequately care for the students in your ministry.  Pick a ratio that you want to see in small groups, and recruit AHEAD of that number, not in response to it.  Just be careful in the early stages not to overwhelm the students with too many adults.  If you have 15 students and 8 adults it's going to feel a bit overwhelming for the students.

2.  Be Intentional with Your Programming:  With a small number of students it's easy to leave a lot of room for unplanned and off-the-cuff activities.  But what happens when you add 10-15 more students.  All of a sudden you have to add some structure and things in place.  You don't want to have to change things up majorly mid-steam and have your current students push back on this new structure.

Have fun, but do it with purpose.  Have a plan each night just like you would if you had 50 students.  Jim Wideman says it all the time: "Do NOW what you'd be forced to do if you grew.  Then you'll grow."

3.  Have Fun Outside of "Normal" Programming: Tailgate at football games.  Do impromptu ice cream runs, or coffee meet-ups.  Have students over to your house.  Those relational moments that we're tempted to do off-the-cuff in our regular programming can be done at other times.  The allows for those relational connections to happen, while still remaining intentional during your "normal" programming.

4.  Be Committed for the Long Haul:  I've been in the same place for nearly 8 years now, and have seen things in student ministry by being in the same place that I would have never seen had I jumped ship even 2 years ago.  Seeing your team go from 2 other volunteers besides your spouse to a group 17 small group leaders (larger than the student ministry we started with) is unbelievable.  I'm still a bit emotional when I get together with those leaders each week before our student environment starts.

I hope that list helps some in either starting fresh, or working in a small context.

Random Video Thursday: 2 Guys 600 Pillows (Backwards)

Everybody has that favorite pillow.  But it's nasty...seriously...

The Beards of Ministry

If you're in ministry (and you're male) you've had to wrestle with the incredibly difficult question:  What do I do with my face?  Well, lucky for us, Leadership Journal gave us a helpful tool:

Random Video Thursday: April Fools Gone Wrong

We all love a good April Fools joke.  Just don't do what this lady did.

Q&A on The Talkers & the Not-So-Talkers

Here's another answer to some of the real questions that small group leaders are asking.

Q: Some Kids want to talk a lot and others not at all.  I Don't want to stop the ones who love to be involved, but want the quiet ones to enjoy, too.

A:  Me too!  This is a constant tension to manage.  Simply put, there are some who "need" to talk more, and some that are content to just take it all in.  Then there are those who'd love the chance to talk, but just can't get in a word edge-wise.  Watch the facial expressions of the ones not talking some times.  See if you can tell if they'd like to pipe in, and then ask them what they're thinking.  They may be just waiting for the opportunity.

At times, you can simply say to someone who answers every question, "Let's hold off and let some of the others in the group answer.  We'll get to you in a minute."

Random Video Thursday: Harlem Mouth Shake

Everyone's tired of the Harlem Shake by now, right?  True, but here's just one more to keep the party going.

Q&A on Being a Hypocrite

I love being able to answer actual questions from my small group leaders.  A while back I asked for questions from my leaders that I'd address at a later time.  Here's a post I did about that.

Q: I'm telling them not to do the very thing I did at their age (hypocritical).

A: Me too! Every single one of us is hypocritical in some ways - even if you were the goody goody growing up.  Being Christ-like does not have a scale based on what they should/shouldn't experience by certain ages.  Our job isn't to point to us as an example, it's to point to Jesus.  And now, our example is one that's worth following (don't doubt that), as we follow Jesus.  We aren't asking them to not do something we once did, we're asking them to live like Jesus.  I've always had a hard time with the idea of you'll never take someone farther than you've been yourself.  Well, if you're sitting at the feet of Jesus, there's no farther you need to take them - he'll do the rest.

Random Video Thursday: Goats Yelling Like Humans

Goats might be the funniest farm animals every, and I grew up on a farm...I should know.  Here is why:

How Can I Help?

One of the most difficult things in ministry is knowing what kinds of things volunteers need/want to know, especially when it comes to small group leaders.  For many of us who have been doing ministry for a while we tend to forget some of the things we've had to learn over the years leading our own small groups.

I love getting my team together and talking about some of the things that we're learning collectively.  This weekend in our team meeting, I had our team members write down two things on a notecard.

1. What's something that surprised you about students that you lead when you first got started?  This question allowed for some great conversation around how God was shaping the hearts of our leaders towards their students.  
2. What's something you struggle with in keeping your students on target in your small group?  This is a question that we intentionally didn't get to in our time together, but instead I told them that I'd be answering their questions in our weekly emails that go out.  This allowed for them to look forward to the emails that I send out (readership can always be higher) and for them to have helpful content.

I'm excited to repeat this process with my small group leaders as we go.  I want to constantly be helping them work on their leadership skills when it comes to leading students.  

How do you train, equip, and speak into your small group leaders?

Parents & Teens in the Same Room?...Gasp!

Every year, at least once, we plan a Parents Night in our student ministry for the sole purpose of a shared experience.  Each night, instead of breaking into our small groups (gender & grade specific), we have 2-3 families discuss a few questions that get at the heart of what we're talking about from stage.  So you have parents and students answering the same questions, from different vantage points.

We use XP3's curriculum and some of their series provide this opportunity built in to the series.  We recently did the Picture Perfect parent night - No Perfect Families Allowed.

Here are a few of the things that I've learned, having done these over the past 6 years:

Parents and Students in the same room is a HUGE win!

I believe that any time you get parents and students in a room together and they share an experience together, something great happens.  It's my belief that a 5-minute conversation with a parent can either enhance or completely trump what we've covered in our student ministry environment for a night.  So, to put both parents and students in the same environment is a HUGE win.

This is a great opportunity for Parents to meet Small Group Leaders.

We really talk to our small group leaders about how important this night is to rub shoulders with their students' parents.  Many of our students' families don't come on Sunday mornings, and sometimes, just simply meeting the small group leader gives families a sense of comfort of who they're son or daughter is being influenced by.

We make sure to introduce the Small Group Leaders from stage, and talk about why we do small groups in the first place.  This gives us the opportunity to cast vision about how important this role is for both the small group leader, and the parents.

This is a great night to cast vision.

Aside from the opportunity to talk about why we do small groups, this is great chance to talk about or vision for families (Orange); our vision for high school students to be in serving roles, rather than in a class; and any thing else that's going on.

Some students will come without their parents.

We tell students to come no matter what.  And some do.  And our small group leaders lead those students through the questions, giving some of the parent perspective on these questions.

Normal attendance for students will be down.

To me, this is an ok trade-off.  Some students don't come because their parents can't or don't want to come, even though we try to communicate hard that students should come anyway.  For us, though, the shared experience for the ones that came is a big enough win to offset the down attendance of students.

Random Video Thursday: Never Cook Your Sister

With Christmas approaching, we all know that we end up spending extra time with our families, and sometimes that's not a good thing.  So...I thought our students could use a little PSA about what not to do to their siblings during Christmas break.

Random Video Thursday: The Parent Rap

Last night was our Parents Night @ BRIGADE - a night where we invite parents to join us for a fairly typical Wednesday night, but instead of small groups we have families work through the questions for the evening.  I'll blog about this later.

But last night we showed this Parent Rap.  Granted, it's for a younger parent audience - but it's funny anyway.

Random Video Thursday: "Eye of the Sparrow"

Voice-overs rock!  Really good voice-overs that make fun of politicians?  Those rule!

Random Video Thursday: Share It Maybe

I can't stand the "Call Me Maybe" song.  But when Cookie Monster makes a spoof...count me in!

I Love Lock-ins!

One of the things that Youth Ministries are known for are lock-ins.  Your youth pastor did them, because his youth pastor did them, because his youth thought it would be a great idea, and the idea spread like wildfire!

When I first got hired, there hadn't been a youth pastor here, but my students knew about lock-ins. They asked if we could have them, and told them that we could...then I came to my senses.

I don't do lock-ins.  Here's why:

1. What's the Win?  If the win is fun and no sleep...check!  But for us, if it's not building community, or pushing our students towards serving opportunities, then it's not worth investing massive amounts of time and energy into.  You could argue that lock-ins are a great opportunity to build community.  And I would argue that, "have you seen when one sleep deprived junior higher hopped up on Mt. Dew can do to another?"
2. What's the cost?  Everything costs.  It might not be a huge money cost, but it will definitely be a huge energy cost...with lots of money on top.  Again, I want to put my energy and resources towards things are more than just fun.  Sure, lock-ins can provide way more than just fun, but for us, there's a better avenue for that.
3. Where's the growth?  Most lock-ins have some sort of spiritual element to them.  Usually at the end.  Usually when they're exhausted and ready for some sleep.  So when you're third invitation, with "I Surrender All" played on the acoustic by the cool worship guy the students start flooding down to the altar...because they just want it to end.  For us, I never want to trick a student into a decision because they're exhausted and emotionally charged.  I want decisions made with a sound mind, with some real emotion along with that.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.  Why do you love them?  Why do you hate them?

Random Video Thursday: Henri 2, Paw de Deux

I HATE cats.  Hate.  This is why...

Random Video Thursday - Fist Bumps: Don't Be This Guy

We've all been there...that awkward moment that you go in for the high five or fist bump and you get "that" guy or girl who does the Turkey.  Here's a few more for your arsenal if you're "that" guy.  Just don't do the last one.